


to love someone who lets you break them twice

by breadangel



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dementia, Denial of Feelings, Getting Back Together, Homophobia, M/M, exes au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadangel/pseuds/breadangel
Summary: just when eric thinks he's doing a great job in getting over lee juyeon, the other boy stumbles into his life again - causing chaos to ensue not just in eric's world, but also in his heartthe juric exes!AU in which everyone can still see that they are meant to be together
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Kim Sunwoo/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 33
Kudos: 229





	to love someone who lets you break them twice

**Author's Note:**

> not edited, so please forgive and turn a blind eye any typos! i will correct them in due time :D
> 
> for now, please enjoy reading <3

Eric may be oblivious to the evils of this world more often than not, but even he knows when the self-proclaimed “angel” of their friend group is trying to bribe him into doing something he probably won’t want to.

So as much as he wants to dig into the delicious looking cream cake that Jacob sets in front of him like candy for a child, he’s not accepting anything before he finds out what he’s in for. Eyeing Jacob suspiciously while trying to figure out the true intention of his friend, Eric hesitantly picks up the fork to cut out a piece of cake when Jacob leans forward, unable to keep the secret inside of him anymore.

“I’m holding a surprise birthday for Kevin next Saturday at my house, you should come.”

The offer sounds innocent enough for now, but a little digging will soon reveal that even the ever kind and caring Jacob Bae doesn’t always have the purest of intentions. “Okay, what’s the catch?” Eric shrugs, wolfing down the rest of the cake, way too past the point to care that he can easily be bribed with food.

He can see the way his friend holds his breath as he contemplates whether he should tell Eric the truth. Eric groans in agony, the suspense killing him inside, “Come on hyung, just tell me wha-”

“Juyeon’s going to be there too.”

Eric puts his fork down. No, _no way_ he is going to finish his cake even though all that is left is a pathetic half-eaten strawberry. Not when Jacob has the audacity to ask Eric out on a weekend, buy him nice food, invite him to a surprise birthday party for his boyfriend, and then tell Eric that Juyeon is going to be there too.

It is humanly impossible to say _no_ to Jacob; all things considered. Only this time, Juyeon is in the equation.

Jacob’s expression falls when he realises the exact moment Juyeon’s name registers in Eric’s brain and promptly buries his head into his palms, as if he had just committed a huge sin, wailing, “I knew this was a mistake. I’m sorry for even thinking of asking, Eric. It’s just that- both of you are some of Kevin’s most cherished friends and he would be disappointed to know if either one of you weren’t there with him.”

He’s right. Eric can already envision the sweet, older boy trying to conceal his disappointment. And really, none of this is Jacob or Kevin’s fault. The blame can only really fall onto both Juyeon and Eric, who chose to start something that shouldn’t have been in the first place.

Rubbing his temples to ease the headache he can already feel coming up, Eric asks, “Did you tell Juyeon hyung I was going to be there too?”

Jacob looks as guilty as Eric’s neighbourhood cat when he realised that he had food disappearing from his kitchen for about a week.

“I figured if I told Juyeon you were gonna be there after inviting him, he would definitely not show up to make you feel less uncomfortable,” Jacob admits shyly, thumbs twilding as a sign of nervousness when approaching the topic of Juyeon and Eric as a couple. “You know how he is. I mean, telling one of the two of you is better than none, right…?”

Eric doesn’t have the heart to lie and tell Jacob that he is right. 

It’s definitely a tough decision, one of the most difficult ones Eric has had to make in his entire life. Should he go to his friend’s party and face the person he’s been trying so desperately to avoid for the past six months or become one of the worst friends ever to literal angel number two Kevin Moon?

“You could bring Sunwoo!” Jacob suggests a little too excitedly.

“Sunwoo?” Eric frowns, a little taken aback that Jacob would mention him out of the blue. “Do you and Kevin even _like_ Sunwoo?”

Jacob’s eyes grow wide in protest, “Of course we do! We like _all_ your boyfriends!”

Eric shifts uncomfortably in his seat, “He’s not my boyfriend.” And when Jacob looks quizzically at him like he is ready to pull all the receipts out of his ass, Eric adds, “We’re not putting any labels yet, alright? _Geez, mom._ ”

Rolling his eyes, Jacob chooses to promptly ignore whatever teenage fit that Eric is throwing, “Why do you think we hate Sunwoo? Kevin would love to have him there, you know he would. He’s _Kevin._ He’d be happy even if you brought along your long lost cousin, or something.”

“Urgh, fine,” Eric agrees before his mind can convince him that this is one of the worst decisions he’s made ever since he agreed to chug two litres of coke and then swallow one tube of mentos two weeks ago.

To be fair, 90% of that decision was made because Sunwoo was egging him on. 

_Huh._ Maybe this is one of the reasons why Jacob and Kevin look at Sunwoo with _some_ kind of disdain. “Anyway, let it be known that if Juyeon hyung starts being weird, I’m leaving. I’m there to celebrate Kevin’s birthday, not talk about lingering feelings or whatever.”

Jacob smiles, knowing he’s already won half the battle, eyes twinkling when he points out, “Your words, not mine.

“What?” Eric echoes, wondering if he should blackmail Jacob into buying him more food. Usually, he would feel bad for taking advantage of Jacob, but his friend has a wallet fatter than his own and let’s face it - he practically guilt tripped Eric into facing his ex.

“Lingering feelings?” Jacob wriggles a suggestive eyebrow and immediately gets a fork flung into his face.

  
  


//

  
  


It takes a lot of guts and five minutes of walking up and down Jacob’s front porch for Eric to finally decide to knock. He can tell Sunwoo’s a little annoyed and it’s taking every fibre of him not to snap at Eric, but he’s still trying not to show it on his face. Too bad Eric reads him like an open book.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” the other boy assures him with a comforting smile on his face. That eases his nervousness a little, but it doesn’t help when he hears laughter echoing off the walls from inside. Kevin’s birthday party is in full swing, which means that everyone that is supposed to be here _is_ already here.

Sunwoo’s right, he can walk away right now and Kevin doesn’t even have to know that he came. 

“If you see me running out of the house at any point in time, meet me in an Uber at the park opposite, got it?” Eric instructs Sunwoo of his getaway plan for any awkward encounters very seriously.

Sunwoo grins, but even his smile has an endearing hint to it.

“Drama queen,” he teases, but drops the smile when Eric sends him a death glare. “I mean, aye-aye captain.” 

Sunwoo squeezes Eric’s shoulder comfortingly while bringing him closer into his embrace, “It’s going to be fine. I’m here with you. Really, what’s the worst that could happen?” _Well_ . That is a tough question. _A lot_ could happen. Before Eric can spiral again, Sunwoo offers, “Should I ring the bell for you?”

He feels like a child, but it’s _Sunwoo_. He doesn’t have anything to be embarrassed of. Nodding, he mumbles a “thank you” and doesn’t have time to take it back when Sunwoo presses on the doorbell without hesitation.

Even from the outside, he can hear the bell ringing loudly to announce their arrival.

There’s the sound of padded footsteps, the door unlocks, and a familiar face pops out. Eric breathes out a huge sigh of relief, any bad thoughts from earlier thrown out the window as he unlatches himself from Sunwoo to wrap his friend in a big koala hug.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Kevin gushes, hugging Eric so tight he might have to check for bruises later. “Party felt like it was missing something.”

“I missed you too,” Eric replies. Regardless of the risks, he’s glad he’s here. For one, he hasn’t seen Kevin in so long. (Well, ever since _the break up_ happened, it just wasn’t right.) 

They exchange even more greetings when Jacob comes to the door and is visibly delighted to see that Eric kept his promise. Sure, both of Eric’s friends stiffen when they realise that Sunwoo is here too, but remain amicable to say the least. Kevin even offers Sunwoo a bright smile and lets him know where to get drinks and food.

“I got you a present!” Eric says, holding up a small bag to dispel the strange tension between Sunwoo and his friends. He’s relieved when Kevin drags them both inside and leads Eric to the kitchen, leaving Jacob to deal with Sunwoo alone.

He prays to all the Gods that neither of them say something stupid. Knowing them both, he’s willing to place some money on Sunwoo to do so sooner or later. Before he can start to worry, someone grabs him by the arm.

“What the hell Eric Sohn, I haven’t seen you for so long, I thought you died,” Hyunjae says with a deadpan face. “Not even a message or a “how are you, hyung?” over Facebook? I treated you so well, only for you to betray me?”

Before Eric can open his mouth to explain that he thought Hyunjae was Juyeon’s friend more than his, someone else chips in with a dramatic snort, “ _Facebook messenger?_ BOOMER ALERT!”

“Shut up, Changmin,” Hyunjae replies gruffly, the tips of his ears turning read as loud laughter choruses throughout the room. He turns back, straight-faced, and just as Eric starts to fear that he may actually be angry, the older boy breaks into a smile. “I’m kidding, have you been doing well?”

While Hyunjae’s _tsundere older brother/actually Satan himself_ duality scares the shit out of him, Eric is glad to see another familiar face here. He spots Chanhee on the sofa in between two other strangers, and Haknyeon fawning over the buffet spread over in the kitchen. 

Almost everyone from the old gang is here, which means Juyeon is probably within walking distance from where Eric is. In an attempt to sneak away from the crowd in the living room that is starting to sing Kevin a birthday song (where he guesses Juyeon might be), he finds himself in front of the toilet.

Okay, he’s not actually going to hide from Juyeon in the toilet.

But if he is, Sunwoo will understand and come and get him out, right?

The previously locked toilet door suddenly opens, and Eric gets ready to rush inside when he is stopped by the sound of an all too familiar voice. The voice Eric will never admit he misses so much he replays voice messages in the middle of the night for himself so he can go to sleep under the disguise that he’s really there - right beside Eric. 

“Eric?” 

It had to happen sometime today, Eric tells himself. But even that, and the countless mental preparations he had made beforehand is not enough for him to stand confidently in front of his first love. Or rather, his first heartbreak. 

“Um,” Eric manages to say very coherently. “Hyung. Hey.”

Juyeon looks confused, to say the least. There’s really no appropriate response to meeting your ex in your mutual friend’s house after not seeing each other for close to half a year. When Juyeon finally regains some sort of sanity, he starts stuttering, “I uh, I didn’t know you were going to be here. J-Jacob didn’t mention you.”

Great. He’s pulling The Juyeon on Eric. 

(The Juyeon: also known as being so genuinely awkward and confused that it makes the other party feel frustrated and uncomfortable.)

“I know, because he knew you’d react like this,” Eric crosses his arms; whether it's a sign of false confidence, or a defence mechanism, he’ll never know. He hopes he looks at least _a little_ intimidating to Juyeon, who is over 180cm tall and used to carry Eric in his arms without even batting an eyelid. “Honestly, it’s not a big deal. We’re both friends of Kevin hyung, so let’s not act weird and ruin the party, okay?”

For someone that has as much of an intimidating aura as Juyeon, he sure listens obediently to whatever Eric says, nodding fervently as if Eric had said something revolutionary. 

As silence fills the air, Eric discreetly takes a good look at Juyeon’s appearance.

The biggest change is that he now has deep blue hair, a stark contrast to the bleached brown Eric had hand-dyed for him a long time ago. He’s also lost weight around his cheeks and arms, but Eric is just going to assume it’s because no one is there to yell at him when he eats at weird timings. 

Juyeon looks like he wants to say something, and Eric is proven right when he tries to turn away and escape.

“Youngjae-ah-”

It’s crazy (crazy stupid) how quickly Eric reacts to his own name, but it’s a special one that only the people he loves most in the world call him by. He dumps the resolve of remaining peaceful in the trash, glaring at Juyeon to silence him, then says in a pained voice, “Don’t say that. Your _Youngjae_ rights were revoked six months ago.”

Eric knows when Juyeon really gets hurt, because he can see the exact weight of his words in Juyeon’s eyes when he says that. Sue him, but that nickname was special and he doesn’t want just anyone throwing it around like it’s nothing.

_Of course, Juyeon will never just be anyone to him._

“Eric,” Juyeon corrects himself. “We should talk.”

The irony of the situation suddenly strikes Eric.

“You didn’t want to talk six months ago, but you want to talk now?”

It takes a while for Juyeon to process Eric’s sarcastic comment, but he replies, calm and collected, unlike Eric who is used to lashing out, “I want to apologise.”

“I don’t need-” Eric almost yells out of frustration, angry that Juyeon can seem so immune to their past. He tones down after realising that their friends could catch them, and says in a more collected voice, “You shouldn’t be apologising now, Juyeon hyung.”

“Eric?”

God is real, Eric thinks when the voice from heaven appears to save him from pummelling Juyeon to a pulp. (Figuratively, of course)

Sunwoo doesn’t look too surprised to see Eric with Juyeon. In fact, he’s unusually okay with the fact that Eric is with the person he had ranted to Sunwoo about almost the entirety of their friendship. Sunwoo doesn’t pay much attention to Juyeon, instead choosing to turn to Eric, “You okay? Want a drink? They have soju and beer. And water, of course.”

He can hear Juyeon thinking aloud as he surveys Sunwoo from head to toe. _Who the hell is this guy?_

“Beer, thank you,” Eric says, thankful for the chance Sunwoo gives him to cool down. Sunwoo nods, then disappears with the promise that he will be back as soon as he can. 

Juyeon’s face is unreadable when Sunwoo is gone.

“Your boyfriend?”

“Not really your business, hyung,” Eric snaps.

It’s a common mistake. A lot of people think Sunwoo is Eric’s boyfriend. Hell, even Jacob did and Eric didn’t even get _this_ mad. There’s just something about Juyeon assuming that anyone who hangs around Eric could be his boyfriend. _(His replacement)_

Juyeon hums, making no moves to leave Eric alone. “I thought you preferred soju to beer.”

If there’s one thing that hasn’t changed about Juyeon since the last time they saw each other, it’s that he knows exactly how to step on Eric’s toes. The mere implication that Eric has changed - or that Sunwoo doesn’t know what Eric really likes, and _Juyeon_ does - irks him. So when Sunwoo returns, a cup of beer in his hands, Eric snatches it away from him and gulps it all down without stopping.

All this while staring Juyeon straight in the eye.

He hands it back to Sunwoo, who doesn’t even try to hide his shock, “Jesus, Eric. You could’ve just said you were thirsty. I’ll be right back. _Do not move_.” He runs off again, angrily muttering “what the fuck” under his breath. 

“I’ve changed, hyung. Isn’t that what you used to say all the time?” Eric forces a smile, then walks away to somewhere, anywhere without a certain Lee Juyeon in the vicinity.

  
  


//

  
  


He’s catching up with Changmin when Sunwoo reappears, looking visibly shaken when he grabs Eric’s wrist to divert his attention from the conversation he was having.

“I told you not to move,” Sunwoo chides, “You’re no good with alcohol. Also, why didn’t you tell me you could chug like that?”

While a worried Sunwoo is cute, Eric is still holding onto a little grudge from Sunwoo’s indifference earlier. He naturally ignores Sunwoo’s question, and discreetly slides his hands into the other’s back pockets, “Everyone’s dancing. Wanna dance?”

“This is exactly what I meant,” Sunwoo huffs but doesn’t say no, a tinge of pink colouring his cheeks.

They sway from side to side, nothing too suggestive, just enough to blend in with the other people having a whole ass rave inside Jacob’s house. This is nothing new, they’ve both been to enough parties and clubs together.

“I cannot believe you didn’t stand up to my ex earlier,” Eric whispers into Sunwoo’s ear when the hired DJ turns the music volume a little higher, promptly drowning out their private conversation. 

Sunwoo scoffs, “Was I supposed to do something? You two were talking, I was just giving you space to sort things out.” For someone who says “fight me” as often as Sunwoo does on a daily basis, he sure does not translate his words into actions as much. 

“Should’ve punched him in the face or something, like I wanted to,” Eric muses, not really meaning it.

Sunwoo looks deadly serious when he counter argues, “Eric. Your ex is almost six foot tall. He looks like someone who would shove me in the locker in high school and laugh about it with his friends. No way am I taking any chances. Sorry, princess.”

Eric has to laugh at the image of Juyeon shoving anyone in the locker. If anything, the Juyeon he knows would fall into a locker and accidentally lock himself inside it.

Maybe Sunwoo was right, the glass of beer he had chugged down earlier in an attempt to prove Juyeon wrong is getting to his brain. He’s not thinking straight at all when he pulls Sunwoo even closer to him and buries his face into the other’s red hair.

“You could at least try,” Eric mumbles petulantly in response.

Sunwoo’s laugh echoes and Eric feels it rumble throughout his entire body. 

“Got it, babe. Next time I’ll risk death and confront all your scary exes.”

Eric doesn’t know what exactly compels him to kiss Sunwoo there and then. Maybe it’s his pretty words - Sunwoo always knows what to say to make him feel better. Or it could be the way Sunwoo’s holding him exactly how he’s wanted to be held ever since he and Juyeon broke up.

Either way, it’s definitely not because he sees Juyeon watching him from across the room, almost as if challenging Eric to do something he might regret later on.

Sunwoo tastes like beer but Eric definitely doesn't mind, because he’s sure he does too. He leans into the kiss, relishing in the way Sunwoo holds onto his waist to steady the both of them. When he pulls away, he knows he’s smiling. And Sunwoo shares the very same smile.

“You’re stupid,” Eric taunts, a useless insult escaping his lips in an attempt to cover up his embarrassment. He cannot believe that he kissed Sunwoo _again_. Maybe, the first time he meant it.

He’s not sure he can convince himself the same this time.

Not when all he can see is Juyeon leaving the room, and not coming back till very much later.

  
  


//

  
  


For Eric, there are exactly three stages to getting over his first love, Lee Juyeon.

**One: Pretending that he’s okay.**

For days after the break up, Eric goes to school as usual. He attends all his lectures, meets up with Jacob and Kevin, and insists that he is fine even though they told him it was _okay not to be okay_. 

He tries to ignore their concern-ridden faces and the ache in his heart when their lunch time group suddenly has one less person; the same person who would always eat Eric’s vegetables for him.

As naturally as he can manage, he stops talking to Hyunjae, Changmin, Haknyeon, the friends he made through Juyeon because it just feels so _wrong_. Eventually, he starts drifting from Kevin too. Only Jacob is relentless in checking up on Eric, which only frustrates him to no end because he feels like an absolute piece of shit for playing a part in breaking up their friend group and taking advantage of Jacob’s kindness. 

**Two: Coming to terms that he’s not okay.**

Eric only keeps his act up for a little less than a month.

He crumbles one night after seeing the stuffed toy that Juyeon had bought online for him after failing to win the exact one in a claw machine game lying under his bed, pathetically forgotten. 

He had mentioned wanting that particular character in passing one day, not knowing it would spark Juyeon’s hidden competitive drive.

It was obvious to say that when coupled with Juyeon’s luck in games, they left the arcade empty-handed that night. When he holds the toy close enough, he can almost smell Juyeon on it - the closest thing he’ll ever get to having the other boy next to him from now on. 

**Three: Learning that he is probably going to be okay.**

The process of getting over a break up is not one Eric likes to look back on, but he clearly remembers and remenices the first day he met Sunwoo. They clicked instantly after being paired off in one of their college’s annual camps for student athletes. In a way, Sunwoo was there for Eric at one of his lowest points - strictly as a friend then. He listened without prejudice, gave advice, and took care of Eric.

At some point, they probably started acting more like a couple than friends and almost everyone could tell except them. 

It frightened Eric, of course. Not because it was Sunwoo. It could never be because of Sunwoo.

And on the night that Eric kissed Sunwoo and Sunwoo kissed him back, he immediately said, “I’m so sorry, Sunwoo. I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Sunwoo smiled, and said the most comforting words ever, “Yeah? Me neither.”

Just knowing they were on the same page, even though it was on the page called “I don’t exactly know what we are but I don’t want to lose you”, was enough for the both of them. Maybe it was a little unconventional, but Eric didn’t think much of it. 

After that, they went out on dates sometimes. Except they didn’t really call it a date. They hung out with each other more than anyone else, and sometimes Eric would give Sunwoo a backhug when the other did a nice thing for him, and Sunwoo would sometimes kiss Eric’s forehead to stop him from playing around too much.

One thing was very clear to both of them back then - they weren’t boyfriends. Then, now, and when Eric really, seriously, thinks about it, probably not in the future.

He’s okay with that, he thinks.

A hundred percent, completely, fine.

  
  


//

  
  


**Do not reply!! (asshole)**

_Eric?_

The chocolate frappuccino that Eric is sipping on while checking his handphone during a study break that he gives himself almost chokes himself to death when he reads the cryptic message sent by redacted himself.

He really should have blocked Juyeon’s number when they broke up.

With his mind wandering to what Juyeon could want from him at 5pm on a Wednesday, Eric contemplates ignoring the message. There’s a reason he changed Juyeon’s contact name so that he wouldn’t be tempted to send him really cheesy and useless drunk messages.

He’s held out for so long, he cannot give in now.

**Do not reply!! (asshole)**

_It’s Juyeon hyung_

_Can we talk?_

Maybe his star sign is in retrograde right now - or whatever the hell people call it - because nothing seems to be going right for him right now. He’s piled up to his chest with work he put off doing, the captain’s pick for the baseball team is coming soon, and if he doesn’t keep his results up the captain title is definitely not going to go to him.

And now, apparently, Juyeon’s texting him again.

**Do not reply!! (asshole)**

_I know I’m stupid for expecting you to reply me_

_Just trying my luck lol_

_Youngjae…?_

A little part of Eric’s brain is happy, happy that Juyeon still has his number saved in his phone. And he hates himself for thinking that. It’s obvious he’s not completely over Juyeon, or else his heart wouldn’t be beating so god damn fast over Juyeon calling him Youngjae.

Before he can restrain himself and contemplate the consequences of entertaining Juyeon, his fingers are flying over the keyboard, translating his angry thoughts into words.

**Eric**

_I told you not to call me Youngjae anymore_

He continues to slurp on his frappuccino angrily, eyes not leaving his phone even for a millisecond as he watches a grey speech bubble appear and then disappear from Juyeon’s end, as if the other is trying his best to craft a message that would not increase the chances of Eric blocking his number for good.

“Are you playing PUBG again? I thought you were actually doing work! This is exactly why you cry at night when you can’t finish a report on time,” an accusing voice pulls Eric’s attention away from Juyeon’s reply, and he quickly switches his phone off - not that he has anything to hide - so that he can snap at Sunwoo, “I wasn’t playing games! I told you I was deleting the game app until finals are over.”

Sunwoo looks skeptical as he sets his bag down on the table while Eric moves some of his books away to make space. 

“How was practice?” Eric naturally eases into a conversation with the other boy, whose answer is already shown on his face with the dark circles under his eyes. “Damn, did you not sleep at all last night?”

Sunwoo lets out a huge yawn and doesn’t even bother covering his mouth for the good of the people around them in the cafe, shaking his head in response, “When you gave up and went to sleep last night after you couldn’t figure out how to start on your report, I worked my way through the entire night.”

“Urgh, stupid report,” Eric curses.

As of now, he has written about… 500 words on the _effects of social media on youths today_.

“You should go back to the dorms,” Eric chides, feeling a little guilty having to keep him here. When Sunwoo texted him earlier and said he would come look for Eric after his practice ended, Eric had no idea he was on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion. Any longer and Sunwoo might actually start sleeping with his eyes still wide open.

Slapping his cheeks lightly to keep himself awake, Sunwoo dismisses Eric’s concerns with the wave of his hand. “No biggie. I have, like, permanent dark circles on my face. You can continue writing your report. I’ll wait so we can grab dinner together.”

It’s a small gesture, but it still touches Eric’s heart. Sunwoo’s consideration actually motivates Eric to start on his report again, fingers typing out the first few paragraphs faster than usual while Sunwoo falls into silence as he starts listening to music on his airpods.

Eric gets swept up in work, until his phone lights up and his eyes trail away from his screen for a second. He gulps when he sees the fated contact name appear in his lockscreen notifications. With little to no thought, Eric picks his phone up.

**Do not reply!! (asshole)**

_Sorry_

_It’s a habit_

_Stupid_ , Eric curses internally more at himself than the sender of the message. It’s been six months, and Juyeon still can’t unlearn his favourite nickname for Eric. Furthermore, Juyeon beating around the bush is irking the hell out of Eric, so he starts being straightforward. It needs to be that way with Juyeon; ever since the start.

**Eric**

_What do you want?_

Juyeon’s reply comes faster this time.

**Do not reply!! (asshole)**

_It’d be easier to explain over the phone._

_Can I call you?_

Unconsciously, Eric starts chewing on his bottom lip, a habit that reappears every now and then when he gets nervous. His mind is a mess right now, and between the report that he promised himself that he would finish tonight and Juyeon’s message, the only thing he really wishes for is to disappear into a hole right now.

His eyes flutter between his phone screen and the boy sitting across from him, whose eyelids are fluttering as he tries to battle exhaustion just so he makes sure Eric takes his dinner.

“Hey,” Eric touches Sunwoo’s arm gently so as to not startle him. “I’m going to take a call.”

Confused and a little dazed from his nap, Sunwoo takes a few seconds to process Eric’s words before nodding and beckoning for Eric to leave. It’s so horrible, the way Eric’s heart clenches when he steps out of the cafe and presses on Juyeon’s number without any hesitation.

“You have one minute,” Eric says as soon as Juyeon picks up. The lump in his throat doesn’t seem to go away, as he prays with all his might for his voice not to tremble. “I’m hanging up in exactly 55 seconds.”

Any other sane person on this earth would immediately start rattling information off the top of their heads when given a limited time, but not Juyeon. For three seconds, all Eric hears from the other end of the connected call is silence. 

“Hi, Eric.”

With just two words, Juyeon somehow manages to dispel the secret grudge Eric holds in a place deep down in his heart. It’s as if, for a moment, the last six months was a nightmare, and they’ve somehow returned back to normal. 

“45 seconds,” Eric chokes out, blinking back the tears forming in his eyes.

“It’s my dad,” finally, Juyeon gets to the point. Eric’s heart drops, his imagination immediately taking him to a dark place. Juyeon pauses, then continues, “He’s asking for you. It’s not the first time. In fact, he asks me about you, like, five times a day.”

Eric wonders how Juyeon still manages to stay so calm even when delivering such news.

“You didn’t tell him we broke up?” The forbidden words leave a sour taste in Eric’s mouth. They’ve never actually talked after _it_ happened, and Eric just assumed that Juyeon would take care of everything on his side, just as Eric had with his family. 

“I did. Many times,” Juyeon insists. “I don’t think he remembers.”

Eric gulps, trying to keep all his emotions in check. 

When they were dating, Juyeon had opened up to Eric about how his father was showing signs of early dementia. At first, it was barely noticeable. Eric really only remembers Juyeon’s father as a man who treated him like his own son. He loved Eric maybe a little more than Juyeon did, and they were extremely close.

The six months must have been extremely hard for Juyeon, as it seems that what was once forgetting trivial things and experiencing confusion has become something worse, to the point that his father still thinks things are the way they were six months ago.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Eric says, only because he doesn’t know what else to say. “Is he doing okay?”

“He’s fine,” Juyeon assures Eric a little too quickly. It’s a habit of his that always irked Eric when they were together - by pretending that everything is okay when he is not. But the way his breath hitches betrays him, and Eric instantly senses that there is something Juyeon is not telling him. 

“He just looks so… broken everything I tell him that we’re not together anymore. He insists that I’m lying, and keeps asking to see you-”

“Hyung-” Eric starts to say, the rejection already on his lips, but Juyeon promptly cuts him off again before he can get another word in, “Eric-ah, let hyung finish, please?” 

Eric falls silent after that, letting Juyeon catch his breath and explain again, “I swore to myself I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to do. It’s a really ridiculous request, why would you even meet with my dad when we’re not together anymore?” 

Juyeon laughs, but Eric can tell he’s forcing it. Even though they’re not on a video call, he can almost visualise the older boy picking at his nails worriedly. “I told myself it was stupid. You didn’t even want to see me, and I understand completely. I really fucked up.”

It takes a while for Juyeon to start talking again after that. Meanwhile, Eric lets his words sink in.

“But then, when I saw you at Kevin’s birthday party, I started to have this small hope inside of me - that maybe, _just maybe_ , if you came despite knowing I was going to be there - you didn’t hate me that much after all.”

The statement hangs in the air for a moment as Eric takes his time to think through what Juyeon said and is now asking of him.

“I don’t hate you, hyung.”

No matter what he said in the past, Eric doesn’t know how he could ever hate someone he once loved with his entire heart and more. 

“You really should,” Juyeon replies. “I don’t know what it is, but you always had a way with my dad. I’ve tried every single thing, but at the end of the day, he asks about you. I guess what I’m really trying to say is, he’s not getting any better. I just thought it would make him happy if he saw you one last time.”

For the second time in two weeks, Eric finds himself at a crossroad. Only this time, there is one clear answer. He doesn’t hate Juyeon, he hates what happened to them, but he’s willing to put it aside for once. Even though he’s doing something his friends might frown upon, it feels only right.

Even if Juyeon and Eric didn’t have a proper goodbye, Juyeon’s father deserves it from Eric at least. 

“I’ll pay him a visit,” he says decisively. “You can let him know.”

“R-Really?” Juyeon’s voice tells Eric he’s been thrown off guard by Eric’s unexpected answer. “Are you sure?”

“A hundred percent,” Eric reiterates, fondly remembering how Juyeon’s father would bring him out for dinner all the time and insist on paying. One of the favourite memories has to be the Christmas he had to spend at Juyeon’s house because his parents were so caught up with work they simply did not have time for Eric to fly back to LA and celebrate the holiday with them.

The three of them put up a Christmas tree together, and Eric even received a present from Juyeon’s father - a hand-knitted scarf he still keeps safely in his drawer.

“It’ll have to be after finals, though. I’m drowning in work and the captain’s pick for the baseball team is coming up soon,” Eric says without thinking, then gasps when he realises how natural rattling about his life to Juyeon has become over just one phone call.

The other doesn’t seem to notice, probably too grateful for Eric’s help to even point it out. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to embarrass Eric. “Thank you, I mean it. If you don’t feel comfortable visiting, a call would suffice, really.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Eric groans at Juyeon’s suggestion. “I’ll contact you sometime next week, I guess.”

Eric gets ready to hang up and go home to scream about this when Juyeon’s voice brings his attention back to the call, “Good luck on finals and the captain’s pick, Young- _I mean,_ Eric-ah.”

In the end, Juyeon is the one who ends the call after saying his final piece, leaving Eric to deal with the sheer emotions a simple call has managed to drag up from inside of him. He didn’t realise it when they were talking, but just hearing Juyeon’s voice again brings back all of the memories - the good and bad (mostly good).

He misses Juyeon like crazy.

And he’d give anything to undo the stupid fight they had.

While he’s on the track of admitting hard-to-say things - he’ll say this, at least for himself to hear.

He’s still in love with Lee Juyeon, and Eric doesn’t think he’s ever stopped.

  
  


//

  
  


Eric doesn’t realise how long he’s been quiet until Sunwoo touches his wrist gently, a concerned expression riding on his face as he tries to figure out what Eric is thinking about. Sunwoo’s great at taking non-verbal cues from Eric, which he appreciates immensely. Not everyone of his friends know how to deal with him when he takes off the energetic persona he puts up most of the time.

Of course, there are exceptions.

“Not hungry?” Sunwoo points his chopsticks at Eric’s untouched ramen. 

This is his favourite store on campus, so him not eating anything means that he has something much heavier weighing on his mind than dinner. Eric just shakes his head, pushing the bowl towards Sunwoo, “Not really. You can have my share.”

Instead of diving into Eric’s portion like he would usually do, Sunwoo puts his chopsticks down and tries his best to hold eye contact with Eric, “What’s bothering you? You know you can tell me.”

If this were about anything else, he would. Eric knows he could show his ugliest side to Sunwoo and the other boy would not judge him at all. But this concerns _Juyeon_. And when it comes to Juyeon, Sunwoo comes into the picture as well. 

“Does it have something to do with the call you got earlier?”

Eric wishes he could lie through his teeth and deny all accusations, but there’s really no point in lying to Sunwoo and dragging this out. He nods, but doesn’t elaborate. Meanwhile, Sunwoo waits patiently without pressuring Eric for an explanation.

“That was Juyeon hyung. He says… that I should come and visit his dad.”

Sunwoo has an unreadable expression on his face when Eric reveals the dilemma that has been eating him up from inside since they left the cafe earlier. He’s pretty sure Sunwoo knows about Juyeon’s father’s condition as he’s mentioned in passing. And he’s definitely sure Sunwoo knows exactly how Eric feels towards Juyeon. What Eric doesn’t know - is how exactly Sunwoo feels towards him.

After a few seconds, Sunwoo finally replies, “And what did you say?”

Pressing his clammy palms together under the table, Eric swallows a lump in his throat and avoids Sunwoo’s eyes, “I said yes.”

_Is Sunwoo going to get mad at him?_ Eric braces himself for impact as he lets the words sink into Sunwoo’s brain. He might actually walk away from Eric. Or worse, he might cut all ties with Eric completely. 

As Eric is busy worrying about losing the only person he fears might understand him in this world, Sunwoo finally says, “ _Good boy._ ”

“What?” Eric’s voice can’t help but waver in front of the other’s charming, yet so understanding smile - a 180 to the reaction he was expecting from Sunwoo. While he’s trying to figure out if Sunwoo is just being sarcastic, the other boy reaches over to ruffle Eric’s untamed bangs. 

“Silly boy,” Sunwoo’s eyes practically sparkle when he looks at Eric. “You did great. I’m sure it took a lot of courage to talk to him. It’s really kind of you too, to agree to visit his dad. What are you so worried about? You made the right choice, I’m really proud of you.”

Like Eric said before, Sunwoo just has a way with words. 

_But it’s Juyeon. And you’re Sunwoo,_ Eric can’t help but think.

“You think it’s okay that I’m meeting my ex-boyfriend and his dad?” Eric can hardly believe his ears. Sure, he and Sunwoo are in a grey area right now, but it should still mean something to Sunwoo that Eric so readily agreed to the meeting. 

“I think it represents your growth from when I saw you months ago,” Sunwoo replies thoughtfully, choosing his words very carefully knowing the sensitivity of the topic.

“Whether it’s okay or not - it’s really not for me to judge. No matter how much you claim you hate Juyeon, I know you don’t. In fact, this is a great opportunity for you two to talk things out. I think you lost more than just Juyeon after the break up. You lost a lot of good friends as well, and it hurts me to see that.”

Deep down, Eric knows Sunwoo is right. Besides Kevin and Jacob, he cut a lot of great people out of his life. They weren’t just Juyeon’s friends, even if they seemed that way at first. Overtime, they became Eric’s good friends too. 

In Sunwoo’s words, this could be a good opportunity for Eric to get closure, and maybe some of his friends back - if they’ll still have him.

“I’m scared,” Eric admits, in a voice so small he isn’t even sure if he said it out loud.

“About what?”

_Of falling in love all over again._ Because Eric knows better than anyone else, how easily his heart falls for one person. He used to think such frivolous feelings were made up by movies and dramas, but it’s absolutely real; how his heart will belong to one person only, despite knowing that pain is part of the process.

Sunwoo very gently massages Eric’s hands with his own to calm him down, and then for the first time that night, looks away from Eric when he says, “At the end of the day, what’s meant to be yours will return to you.”

“It’s going to be okay, ric-ah,” Sunwoo assures him when he doesn’t get a reply. 

Eric chooses to believe him, for now.

  
  


//

  
  


The sun is blazing hot on the day the captain’s tryouts are taking place, otherwise known as the perfect day for playing baseball. The whole team is here, and by a surprise visit, Eric also spots Jacob and Kevin cheering for him at the bleachers. Fortunately, he has time before the tryouts officially begin, so he bounds happily to where his friends are.

They greet him with a huge bear hug that calms his nerves, and Jacob even squeezes his shoulders while saying, “You’re going to be great out there, Eric.”

“I hope so,” Eric pouts, heart racing at the thought of holding such a high position in the sport he’s loved since he was a young boy.

“We’re going to be here, so don’t worry about anything,” Kevin grins reassuringly. He takes out a pink lunchbox and a large thermos flask, “What do you need? Have you eaten lunch? I cooked something really healthy for you and even made you some vegetable juice. It’s supposed to give you more energy!”

Eric grimances, involuntarily making a disgusted face at the mention of vile vegetable juice, “Ew, hyung. I’ll take the food, but as for juice - no thank you.”

It prompts Jacob to pinch Eric’s arm while smiling threateningly at him when Kevin’s not looking, “ _Take the juice, Eric_.”

As he’s forced to gulp down the disgusting looking liquid, Eric pinches his nose and Kevin asks, “Where’s Sunwoo? Is he coming to watch you too?”

In between mouthfuls, Eric attempts to explain that Sunwoo is busy with his own practice and can’t make it even though he desperately wanted to, but it seems like his friends aren’t even listening to him as they crane their necks to look at something behind him.

Annoyed, Eric turns around to see what could be more interesting than him, and starts choking on Kevin’s death juice when he realises what his friends are so starstruck by.

“Is that… Juyeon?” Kevin doesn’t even try to save Eric from dying as he speaks what everyone is thinking inside of their heads. Jacob, on the other hand, at least has the decency to pat Eric on his back, but it’s too late, Juyeon has already witnessed the tragedy of Eric’s near death experience as he approaches their group.

Muttering, Eric glares at his friends, “Did you guys invite him here?”

“We’ve barely spoken since the party,” Jacob defends himself, then looks at the only remaining suspect, his boyfriend, “Did _you?_ ”

“No, but I sure wish I did,” Kevin can barely get his last of his words out before Juyeon is standing before the three of them, and Eric cannot keep his eyes off of him. 

It’s an understatement to say that Eric’s breath is immediately taken away when he comes face to face with Juyeon. He’s seen Juyeon before - but never like this. Now sporting a new dramatic undercut, Juyeon looks _different_ , and Eric just doesn’t have enough time nor energy to wrap his head around the other’s fresh appearance right now.

“Hi,” Juyeon finally says something to break the silence.

Eric, however, is still at a loss of words. Internally though, his mind is brimming with questions. Fortunately, Kevin jumps in to save Eric from any more embarrassment, “Hey, Juyeon. What are you doing here? Oh- _are you here for Eric?_ ”

Kevin’s tactless question causes Eric’s face to heat up immediately. If he could, he would absolutely dump Kevin’s vegetable juice over his messy mop of hair right now as some form of revenge.

Similarly, Juyeon looks caught off guard by Kevin’s question, his eyes shifty as he looks around the baseball field for an answer, and barely manages to form a coherent sentence, “Ah, um, no. I’m here to support someone. A junior of mine.”

Eyebrows twitching in annoyance, Eric tries his very best to not roll his eyes in front of his friends. He doesn’t know who Juyeon is here for - and doesn’t _want_ to know, but he’s not exactly happy about it.

Juyeon already knows Eric is trying out for the captain’s pick, and still has the audacity to come here, look like an _absolute thirst trap_ , and then _cheer for someone else?_

If anything, his unannounced appearance only motivates Eric more to beat out everyone else that is trying out today. Whether fuelled by anger (or jealousy), Eric pays no attention and instead turns away from his friends to start warming up.

“Good luck, Eric,” Juyeon calls out after him.

“Whatever, hyung,” Eric replies, already irritated by the implication that Juyeon is here for someone else. He’ll show Juyeon - that no matter who he supports, they’ll never ever match up to Eric Sohn.

He completes his stretches, goes for a short jog with the others, and when it’s his turn to take his place at the batting cage, he makes sure to flash a smile at Juyeon when he hits a home run. 

Funny thing is, Juyeon’s smiling back.

  
  


//

  
  


“I knew you could do it! My baby,” Jacob coos as he envelopes Eric in a hug as soon as the team is dismissed and Eric now walks away from the field as the unanimously voted team captain after his spectacular performance on the field. His heart is bursting with pride, and he unconsciously scans the area to see if Juyeon is watching so he can not-so-subtly flaunt his victory in the other’s face, but he is nowhere to be seen.

Kevin gives him a hug too, muttering something about his _magic vegetable juice_ being the key to victory.

“Couldn’t have done it without your support,” Eric beams.

“This calls for a celebration,” Jacob announces. “Dinner is on me tonight, if you’re free to spend it with us, of course.”

Eric really could not think of a better way to spend his victory dinner. He glares teasingly at Jacob, “No strings attached this time?”

“None,” Jacob promises.

Kevin scrunches his nose in disdain, “Just one. Take a bath.”

  
  


//

  
  


Eric practically skips out of the bathroom in fresh clothes and slightly damp hair all in excitement to stuff himself silly tonight after weeks of eating healthy. Meanwhile, his phone rings with a series of messages from Sunwoo, eager to know how the captain’s pick went.

**To: Sunwoo ☀️🌻**

_I got it!!!_

_I’m captain now :D_

**From: Sunwoo ☀️🌻**

_Omg_

_Congrats Eric-ie <3 _

_Dinner tonight to celebrate?_

It’s a sweet gesture from Sunwoo, if Eric didn’t already have plans.

**To: Sunwoo ☀️🌻**

_Maybe next time :(_

_Going out my Canada hyungs tonight!_

**From: Sunwoo ☀️🌻**

_Aw :(_

_Enjoy yourself~_

While Eric quickly types out a message to nag at Sunwoo to get some rest by himself tonight, he bumps into someone’s back, and immediately scrambles to apologise for being _such a teenager_ , “I’m so sorry- _Oh._ ”

Of course, Juyeon will always find a way back into Eric’s life. 

“No need to apologise,” Juyeon says, his smile resembling a cat who just cornered a mouse. Instinctively, Eric shrinks under Juyeon’s new, more intense appearance. Still, he tries to stand tall in front of someone who came into his territory to support someone else. (Yeah, he’s still mad. What about it?)

“I wanted to congratulate you,” Juyeon continues, looking exceptionally happy for someone who wasn’t even rooting for Eric in the first place.

Eric crosses his arms stiffly, “Sorry your junior didn’t get the position.”

Juyeon waves his concern away, “It’s okay, doesn’t matter. You deserved it, anyway.”

Eric knows that Juyeon is just being considerate, but he can’t help but let Juyeon’s words warm his heart a little. After all, Juyeon knows better than anyone how much Eric loves the sport. He still remembers the way Juyeon would come and support him after practice, and listen to him ramble about his favourite players for hours without complaints.

Alas, he digresses.

“Thanks, I guess,” Eric mumbles, not knowing how to deal with Juyeon being so friendly. They stand in silence for a while, and when Eric cannot put up with it anymore, he points out something that has been bothering him for a while now, “I see you cut your hair.”

Juyeon looks surprised that Eric brought it up, and his hands instinctively go to touch and comb his hair to the back with his fingers, “Yeah… the other guys suggested that I do something to my hair. Is it… okay?”

Bewildered that Juyeon is asking Eric for advice on something as insignificant as his hair, Eric can’t help but stutter throughout his words, “Y-yeah. It looks nice on you. Different, but nice, for sure.”

Curse himself for acting like such an idiot whenever Juyeon is around. _He’s just Lee Juyeon, the completely harmless guy that cried when he realised you liked him back,_ Eric convinces himself. Nothing to freak out about. 

“Also, I was wondering if you’d like to come over this weekend, you know, since finals are over. And also because you finally got the captain’s position,” Juyeon chews on his lower lip while trying to get his words out, and Eric doesn’t know why butterflies appear in his stomach because of that. It’s sad, yet funny, that their relationship has been reduced to _this_.

Eric nods, “Yes. I should come and visit your dad. How’s Saturday for you two?”

“Saturday is great. I can cook too, is there anything you want to eat?” Juyeon asks, visibly excited at the thought of whipping up a great feast. As the designated cook in their relationship when they were together, Eric thinks one of the things he’s missed most about Juyeon is the homemade food.

He tries not to think much of Juyeon’s suggestion because it’s nothing special. They still have to eat. Juyeon doesn’t like takeout, so of course he’s going to cook. It’s definitely not because Eric’s visit is special or anything like that.

“Anything would be great,” Eric assures the other, because it’s really not his place to make any demands.

They fall into an awkward silence again, until Juyeon says, “Thank you again for doing this, Eric. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to force yourself. I’ll understand completely.”

And the thing is, Eric wishes he could say no. He wants to walk away from Juyeon, just like he did six months ago. A blank slate, Eric promised himself back then. He wishes Sunwoo was right - that he was doing this purely, 100%, out of kindness for Juyeon’s father.

But just like everyone else, Eric is selfish. And if doing this means that he can be with Juyeon for a while more, he’s going to risk everything for it. Even if it means getting hurt at the end. But he can deal with that - he’s already done it once. Who’s to say he can’t do it again?

  
  


//

  
  


As it turns out, when Jacob says that there are no strings attached to a free dinner, he is a liar.

“Tell me, do you really think that it’s a coincidence that Juyeon dolled himself up, cut his hair to look absolutely gorgeous - _no, don’t look at me like that Jacob you know he looked good_ \- and came to your captain’s pick just to support someone else?” Kevin rattles off loudly, and Eric fears that someone might overhear their conversation. 

Fortunately, Jacob shushes Kevin but doesn’t even try to counter any of his boyfriend’s absurd claims. Eric just shoves the food that Jacob cooks for them into his mouth. He didn’t sign up for a counselling or gossip session with his friends when he said he wanted dinner.

Again, his stomach is the cause of his downfall.

“I’m telling you, I’ve been friends with Juyeon for a while now and I know when he’s lying,” Kevin continues, with no intention to let this stupid conspiracy theory go. “And he was definitely there for you today, Eric. _There is no junior._ _You_ are the said junior.”

Eric just looks pointedly at Jacob, “Are you gonna shut him up or should I do the honours?”

“I think you should eat more, babe,” Jacob sighs, piling more food on Kevin’s plate so he’ll shut up for once. However, he adds in a tiny voice, “He has a point though, Eric.”

“No,” Eric says sternly, so his friends know that he’s being serious. “Kevin hyung doesn’t have a point. It’s crazy for you two to think that Juyeon hyung could have been there for me. I’m sorry, but I know better than anyone how it feels like that Juyeon hyung isn’t around anymore. We tried, and it didn’t work out. There aren’t any feelings left, and you’ll just have to accept that - like I did 6 months ago.”

“Maybe for you,” Kevin shrugs nonchalantly, picking at his food like he still has more to add to the conversation.

Eric frowns, “What is that supposed to mean?”

His two friends share a knowing look with each other, like they know something that Eric doesn’t. Jacob takes a deep breath before speaking again.

_“Eric baby_ , Kevin and I both know very well you and Juyeon aren’t in a relationship anymore. I don’t want to be that friend that forces you two back together either. And maybe you really don’t feel anything for him, but Eric - do you seriously believe that Juyeon doesn’t have any feelings for you anymore?”

The look that Jacob wears on his face is enough to tear Eric apart from the inside, because he knows exactly what Jacob is insinuating with his words, but somehow, cannot find it in himself to believe him.

Gulping down his glass of beer, Eric shakes his head.

“I’m sure. I know he definitely feels nothing, _absolutely nothing_.”

Any other answer would be wishful thinking.

  
  


//

  
  


_It’s not a date_ , Eric tells himself for the hundredth time that morning. It’s incredibly difficult to convince himself, because everything in his routine is telling him that this is as close to a date as it gets.

From getting up early so that he can style his hair just right to picking out a ton of outfits only to go with the first one in the end, Eric can only force himself to think of this as a visit to his ex-boyfriend’s house after 6 months of no communication.

The only person he’s told about this is Sunwoo, just because he doesn’t trust Jacob and Kevin enough to not scream at him. He understands, any other normal person would think that he is out of his mind for agreeing to do this. Somehow, he manages to push the worries out of his mind and make his way by train to where Juyeon and his father stays.

It’s a little out of the city, in a quaint little town a few bus stops away from the train station, but Eric knows how much Juyeon and his family love nature rather than the bustling city life. Back then, they would all go on weekend hikes sometimes. Those were fun, Eric muses to himself as he turns - more by habit than consciousness - into the street that he hasn’t stepped foot in for the longest time.

Everything, from the colours of the roofs of houses to the way the neighbourhood smells, is familiar. He wasn’t even aware how much he missed it, but now that he’s here, he doesn’t ever want to leave. 

“Eric?”

The last thing Eric expects to see (quite ironically) is Juyeon waving to him from the street ahead, with a bright smile plastered on his face. For a moment, Eric forgets why he’s here, and allows himself to bask in the past memories of the hugs and kisses they’ve shared on this very street, under the lamp posts, as if they were the only two people in this world.

“You made it,” Juyeon says when they finally meet face to face. For some reason, Juyeon’s breathing heavily, as if he had ran out just to meet him halfway.

It takes an insane amount of discipline and sanity for Eric to not grab Juyeon and wrap his arms around the other boy. Instead, he blinks and forces himself to look as normal as possible, “Yeah. You didn’t have to come out here though, I know where you live.”

“Yeah?” Juyeon can’t help but run his fingers through his hair nervously, messing up his obviously gelled up hair. “I didn’t want you to get lost.”

As they walk side by side in the direction to Juyeon’s house, Eric racks his brain for something casual, but not too awkward to say. Where should he even start? _How have you been? Seen anyone else lately? Did you think about me like I thought about you?_ Nothing seems like the right answer when he says it in his head.

“This is weird, isn’t it, Eric-ah?” Juyeon speaks aloud for the both of them.

“It’s only weird if you want it to be,” Eric replies, already having told himself this over and over. 

They stop right outside Juyeon’s house, as if there was an invisible line between them and the house. It’s clear as day to both of them, that once they cross that line, things are going to be different.

“You okay?” Juyeon casts a worried look at Eric, suddenly not knowing where he should place his wandering hands.

Eric nods.

“I’m okay.”

  
  


//

  
  


The first thing that Eric hears when he takes off his shoes and steps into Juyeon’s house is the unmistakable shout from across the living room.

“Youngjae-ah!”

And then, he’s pulled into a hug that he doesn’t even try to resist. In fact, he makes sure to Juyeon’s father twice as hard. With his arms around the aged man, he realises how much weight he’s lost over the past half year. However, the pure glee on Juyeon’s father’s face when he lets Eric go dispels his worries immediately.

“It’s been so long, _abeonim_ ,” Eric gushes.

“Too long,” he agrees with a fervent nod. “All because Juyeon-ie didn’t bring you over anymore.”

Again, Juyeon must have mentioned the break-up countless times to his father, but it seems genuine that he does not remember it at all. Eric lets the comment fly by without any explanation, instead shifting the topic to something lighter, “Have you eaten, _abeonim?_ ”

“Not yet. You know I like to wait for my baby to arrive.”

Unable to put into words how much he’s missed someone caring for him like this, Eric just blinks back the tears that spring into his eyes and lets himself be led into the kitchen, where a feast has been laid out. He looks around, confused, “Are we expecting someone else?”

Rubbing his shoulders encouragingly, Juyeon’s father tuts, “Juyeon-ie insisted on making all your favourite dishes. You’re going to have to bring all the leftovers home because otherwise there will be too much food waste.”

When he takes a closer look, Eric realises that it’s true. All his favourite foods have taken their respective places on the dinner table. There’s definitely too much for three people to finish in one sitting. Either Juyeon has terrible estimation skills, or…

_No_ , Eric doesn’t even want to let the thought enter his mind.

“Sit,” Juyeon smiles, passing Eric a warm bowl of rice to go with the dishes. He takes the lead in taking rice for his father as well, then takes a seat beside Eric with an expectant look on his face.

Realising that both Juyeon and his father are waiting for Eric to taste the food first, he hesitantly picks up the pork chops right in front of him. He already knows they’re going to taste good, but there’s a burst of warmth in his heart when he takes his first bite.

“Is it okay?” Juyeon chews on his lower lip while waiting for Eric’s verdict.

“It’s amazing,” Eric answers truthfully. 

“Thank god, because Juyeon-ie has been up since early morning to prepare this,” Juyeon’s father steps in to explain. He turns to Juyeon with the most innocent smile on his face as he adds, “Like my lovesick son always says, “anything for my Youngjae”, right?”

The confession of _“abeonim, we actually broke up months ago”_ is on the tip of Eric’s tongue, but he just cannot bring himself to say it. 

Luckily, Juyeon’s father doesn’t seem to notice the way Eric’s voice cracks ever so slightly when he replies.

_“Yeah, I’m so lucky.”_

  
  


//

  
  


Eric begins to notice, the little signs signalling how Juyeon’s father’s condition has worsened. While not life threatening, the way he forgets where he puts his cup, or asking Eric the same question he did a few minutes ago, are telltale signs of dementia.

While it seems that Juyeon has somehow managed to learn how to care for his father, Eric’s heart cannot help but ache for the pressure the other boy has had to carry for months now. He knows this has nothing to do with him, but he feels guilty for not being there for Juyeon, especially when he needed Eric most.

“Yes, I went out to the beach a few days ago, Juyeon brought me there,” the older man relays his visit to the beach last weekend with his son to Eric for the second time. But Eric listens earnestly, not minding one bit.

“By the way, there’s something different about you, Youngjae-ah,” Juyeon’s father suddenly stops telling his story to point out.

Curious, Eric asks, “What’s different?”

Thinking hard, Juyeon’s father suddenly whispers in a low voice so Juyeon cannot hear them from the kitchen, “Did you and Juyeon have a fight?”

Not knowing if he should tell the truth, Eric remains tight-lipped. He doesn’t want to lie, but he doesn’t want to hurt anyone either. 

“Well, kind of,” Eric nods.

It’s true. Okay, _half true_ . There _was_ a fight. 6 months ago. Not sure if they’re still having that same fight right now.

“Ah,” Juyeon’s father muses, clicking his tongue. “Did Juyeon do something wrong?”

Picking at his fingernails, Eric gathers the courage to admit something he hasn’t been able to say out loud, “No. I was the one who made a mistake.”

“Talk to him,” the other man nudges Eric’s arm encouragingly. “He can get a little shy and stubborn sometimes, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. Whatever you two are going through, I don’t think he’d be unwilling to work through.”

He’s spot on. Everything he says about Juyeon, Eric knows is the undeniable truth.

“But all that comes to an end and we all lose feelings one day, don’t we?” Eric says before he can take it back. Watching Juyeon’s father’s expression for any sign of anger or sadness on behalf of his son, Eric is bewildered when all he gets is a knowing smile.

“Not Juyeon, never for you.”

  
  


//

  
  


Eric realises only belatedly realises how much of a hold Juyeon’s father has over him, and only until he forces the both of them to go to Juyeon’s room to “talk it out” that Eric really regrets coming over at all.

“I’m so sorry, he’s making you uncomfortable,” Juyeon apologises to Eric profusely after his father leaves.

“It’s okay,” Eric assures him.

Now that he’s actually in Juyeon’s room, he takes a good look around. Everything is pretty much the same. Juyeon’s a generally neat person, thanks to Eric’s nagging, and his room is kept in pristine condition. It’s almost a little… too clean.

The pictures he once had with Eric that were framed and on his study table are nowhere to be found, and the hoodies that Eric used to leave lying on his bed have also disappeared. The room is practically empty of their memories together.

“Should we… you know…” Juyeon struggles to string his words together, and Eric waits for him to complete it with bated breaths. “Should we talk, Eric-ah?”

It’s like a tidal wave; his words. Like it’s been brewing, growing, inside both of them without either of them even aware of it. And when it comes, it comes holding the restrained feelings they’ve held inside of them for the past 6 months. 

“Where do we even begin?” It’s a genuine question from Eric, because they never had the opportunity to clear things up after all that happened. Everything is still in a big mess, untouched from the last time they talked (or more accurately, yelled).

“Is it okay if I begin by apologising, then?”

There’s just something about the way Juyeon is sitting on his bed in a casual shirt and pants, eyes practically _begging_ for Eric to say something to him. The last thing Eric wants to be is desperate, but he doesn’t think he’s ever wanted anything more than to feel Juyeon against him right now.

“I owe you one too,” Eric admits, taking a hesitant seat beside Juyeon. He plays with the sheets nervously, wondering why something that used to be as comfortable as sitting on Juyeon’s bed could become something so foreign.

Juyeon relaxes when he sees that Eric takes a seat, then starts speaking slowly, making sure that Eric catches everything the first time. “I said some very hurtful things. They were said in the heat of the moment but I should know better than to let my emotions control what I say. I hurt you, Youngjae-ah, and I will never be able to apologise enough for that.”

This time, Eric doesn’t even flinch at the nickname. It feels right.

“I shouldn’t have assumed that your family would accept me- _us_ , with open arms. I’m sorry for pinning the blame on you when I should have focused on how I could prove myself to them instead,” Juyeon continues, as if reading from a script he’s prepared in his head.

And maybe he has, because Eric knows how many sleepless nights he’s spent planning out what he wanted to say to Juyeon if he ever got the opportunity. He just didn’t know it would happen, ever.

Until now.

Juyeon’s voice starts to get wobbly as he gets to the next part, his eyes trained on his sheets while actively avoiding Eric’s.

“After thinking about it, I think… maybe they were right. I wasn’t enough for you. I mean, just look at how badly I screwed up,” Juyeon scoffs pathetically at himself. Even his smile doesn’t seem genuine anymore. “I should have listened instead of shutting them out, I’m so sorry.”

“Hyung,” Eric says as calmly as he can manage. “Juyeon hyung, look at me.”

Finally, Juyeon lifts his head to meet Eric’s gaze. He can almost see the pain in the other’s eyes, coupled with regret and anger. In that instant, Eric wishes he could take all the negative feelings away from the other. He would do anything.

“If there’s anyone who screwed up, it was me.”

Before Juyeon can cut in and protest, Eric shakes his head, “No, _listen_. I was being an absolutely horrible boyfriend towards you. You literally did everything for me in the relationship - you were the one who confessed first, you always texted me first to ask about my day, you’d tie my laces, you’d piggyback me back when I was tired from practice. And yet, when it was my turn to be the one to protect you, I failed.”

Like any other stranger on the street, Juyeon had thought that Eric’s family would generally be more accepting of their relationship than his own. After all, they had spent the majority of their life in Los Angeles, where same sex relationships were actually normalised in society.

Yet, when Eric officially introduced Juyeon to his family at dinner, they were met with scorn. Eric’s parents stood by the theory that the time he spent in LA was contributing to his “phase of liking boys”. 

Both Juyeon and Eric dealt with rejection differently.

While Juyeon stressed out about not being able to move forward with Eric in their relationship, Eric was adamant on letting time heal their wounds, unaware of how much the rejection had already hurt Juyeon on the inside.

“You’re not even trying,” Juyeon had cried out to Eric one day. “At least try to talk to them. Let _me_ talk to them.”

“You’re just going to make everything worse!” Eric had yelled back.

“Do you even care? About us? Or do you just not want to try at all anymore because you think that liking boys is a phase as well?”

“How do you expect me to convince them that I’m in love with someone like you - because right now, I can’t even convince myself,” Eric snapped, knowing that that was the exact moment he had crossed the line.

_He didn’t even mean it._

“Then leave, because I’m tired of fighting for something you don’t want in the first place.”

Everything that happened after that argument was a blur, because Eric only remembers storming out of Juyeon’s house, thankful that there was no one else at home at the time. Days later, Jacob came over to Juyeon’s to pick up the remainder of Eric’s stuff and that was almost a guarantee to the both of them that it was over.

Fast forward 6 months, and they’re right back where they left off.

Except now, they both have a load of regrets, belated apologies, and lingering feelings that they have no idea what to do with. (At least, that’s the case for Eric.)

“Failed?” Juyeon echoes, bringing Eric back to reality. “I don’t think you failed. I think you were the best I ever had.”

That’s the thing about Juyeon. Even when Eric thinks of himself at his absolute lowest, Juyeon is always going to see him in a good light, probably the _best light_. Beyond Juyeon’s initial cold exterior, Eric knows that there is a man with a heart of gold - the very reason he fell for Juyeon in the first place.

For the first time in months, Eric feels like an invisible weight has been lifted off his chest.

“I should’ve fought for you, for us,” Eric reasons.

_Why didn’t he?_

“It was a tiring battle,” Juyeon says. “I don’t blame you. You did everything you could.”

“I miss you.”

The three words Eric has been longing to say, yet comes the easiest in times like this. It’s so soft, he can tell Juyeon is unsure if he even heard it at all. Juyeon’s gaze is almost hopeful, when he confesses, “Me too, Youngjae-ah. I’ve missed you so much.”

  
  


//

  
  


When Juyeon and Eric reemerge from Juyeon’s room together, Juyeon’s father has an innocent, yet knowing smile plastered on his face. He looks pointedly at Eric, asking, “All settled?”

Eric looks at Juyeon, who smiles back at him, and he says, “Yeah. All settled.”

“Well then, you should get going, because it takes you awhile to travel back and I want you home before it gets dark,” Juyeon’s father says, already getting up on his feet to see Eric out the door. Eric grabs his things, a lump forming in his throat because he doesn’t know if he’ll ever step foot in this house ever again.

Because this was a one-time thing. A favour he did out of kindness for Juyeon and his father, because of how well they treated him in the past.

_Right?_

“Why are you standing there? Don’t look so sad, you’re going to come over and visit me soon, okay?” Juyeon’s father grins, holding his arms out, inviting Eric into a hug he doesn’t even think twice about accepting.

What Juyeon’s father doesn’t know is for the best, so Eric just hugs him tight, letting his actions convey the words he’ll probably never have the chance to say out loud again.

When they separate, Juyeon’s father pats Eric’s back comfortingly, then looks at Juyeon, “You’re going to send him to the bus stop, right?”

Flustered, Juyeon’s eyes grow wide in confusion as he looks between Eric and his father. “Ah, y-yes, of course. I’ll bring him over and come back,” he stutters through his words, obviously caught off guard by his father’s sudden request.

“He doesn’t have to,” Eric swoops in to save Juyeon.

“No, I should,” Juyeon says, very naturally wrapping his arm around Eric’s shoulder to lead him out. Eric tries to convince himself it’s all for show. For Juyeon’s father to have a peace of mind. “Come on, let’s get going.”

Eric doesn’t know exactly how to express it in words, because he doesn’t think of himself as someone deprived of human touch or contact - but once Juyeon has his arm rest on Eric’s shoulder, he doesn’t ever want him to let go. Juyeon probably doesn’t even notice what he’s doing, but for Eric, it’s a familiar feeling that he’s dreamt about having back almost every single day.

No one, and Eric can say this without a hint of guilt that he’s lying, could ever make him feel the way Juyeon does.

The walk back to the bus stop is torturous, because none of them know what to say. Usually, Eric would fill the air with his chatter about absolutely anything, but all he can think about now is where they can go from here.

_Back to not talking and ignoring each other?_ Probably.

The bus stop is almost eerily quiet when they arrive. Given that it’s a quiet neighbourhood, the bus comes at 15 to 20 minute intervals. Whether it’s a blessing or a curse, Eric doesn’t think that one is coming anytime soon.

“Youngjae-ah,” Juyeon calls out, and Eric’s heart wrenches.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming,” Juyeon says. “It’s the first time I’ve seen my dad so happy in a long while, and it’s all thanks to you.”

Eric doesn’t doubt that, but he doesn’t want to take all the credit, “Don’t say that, hyung. You’re an amazing son to him as well. It can’t be easy taking care of him, but you’re doing a great job on your own. You didn’t need me.”

Juyeon grows quiet, his eyes fixed on the ground beneath him as he struggles with his next line.

“Is that what you really think?”

“What?” Eric echoes.

It comes out almost as quietly as a whisper, but Eric definitely hears Juyeon ask, “Do you really think that? _That I don’t need you?_ ” Juyeon pauses to watch Eric’s reaction, then continues, “Because I think I do. I think I’ve tried convincing myself over the past 6 months that I don’t, and it hasn’t even worked once.”

In Eric’s mind, all he can hear is Jacob repeating over and over, _“Do you seriously believe that Juyeon doesn’t have any feelings for you anymore?”_

Right now, Eric doesn’t know exactly what to believe anymore.

Suddenly, he blurts out, “What’s the name of your junior?”

Juyeon just stares at Eric blanky, obviously having no idea what Eric is referring to.

“The junior,” Eric stresses. “The one you came to support on the same day I was playing. What was his name?”

Juyeon takes a deep breath, then exhales while closing his eyes as he comes clean, “There was no junior. I was there for you.”

The revelation is too much for Eric to take in at one go. Not only were his friends 100% right about a conspiracy theory he was convinced they pulled out of their ass, he cannot wrap his head around the fact that Juyeon had been there, _for him._ Not some imaginary junior that he had gotten deadly jealous of and vowed to make practice hell for, but _him_ , Eric Sohn.

“Why’d you lie?” Eric questions, embarrassed when he recalls how he’d acted just because of a lie. “Tell me the truth, this time.”

“You looked absolutely stunning that day,” Juyeon confesses.

Before Eric even has the time to turn red and blush from his head down to his toes at Juyeon’s honest answer, he adds, “And you looked beautiful on the day of the party, too. Not just on the outside, but you were radiating with happiness when you kissed Sunwoo at the party, and you looked so cheery talking to Jacob and Kevin during the day of the captain’s pick.”

“Meanwhile, _I_ was still hung up on you. I didn’t want you to see that side of me, so I lied. Lied that I was there for someone else, and lied to myself that I didn’t mind seeing you kiss someone else. I knew you were over me, but I just didn’t want you to see that _I wasn’t over you._ ”

It’s been 6 long months, and none of their feelings have changed. Eric realises this a little too late, because both of them were pretending for too long.

“You’re a really good liar, Juyeon hyung.”

“You think so? Well, I’m sorry for lying to you,” Juyeon can’t help but smile softly at Eric’s comment. It’s clear he’s not sorry at all, almost as if he doesn’t care that he’s spilled everything that he’s kept inside his heart out, and Eric wishes he could do the same.

“That’s the bus,” Juyeon points out, and it’s true, Eric’s bus is just winding down the corner of the street.

This is the part where Juyeon used to kiss Eric goodbye. On his forehead, his cheek, his nose, and on really good days, right on his lips. When Eric turns around to meet Juyeon’s gaze, he knows Juyeon is thinking about the same thing.

They don’t have much time, but Eric knows exactly where he wants to kiss Juyeon goodbye this time.

He tiptoes, and subconsciously wonders if Juyeon has somehow managed to grow taller or it is he that has shrunk in the time they’ve spent apart, but when his lips meet Juyeon’s, all other thoughts are thrown out the window and the only thing his brain can focus on is how willingly he melts into the other’s touch.

It’s like he doesn’t even have to try to feel something with Juyeon like he does with Sunwoo. He just _does_. Meanwhile, Juyeon is kissing Eric back like he’s trying to make up for all the lost time. And Eric can’t blame him, because he feels the exact same way.

He wouldn’t exactly recommend kissing your ex right after talking things out, but when Juyeon cups Eric’s cheeks in his hands to deepen the kiss, Eric really couldn’t care less.

Eric knows the bus is nearby when its headlights land on them, and as much as he doesn’t want to, he pulls away.

Juyeon’s expression is unreadable when the bus comes to a stop.

What should he say? There’s nothing Eric could say now to salvage the situation they’ve gotten themselves into. Now that he’s aware that Juyeon still has feelings for him, there’s obviously a very easy way out - admit his own and they can skip off into the sunset happily.

And then what?

Eric simply doesn’t have the heart to get together with Juyeon again, and then let himself be broken twice. As the famous saying goes - _fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me._

And a shame it is, that Eric doesn’t really get to say the three words that are on the tip of his tongue before he turns away from Juyeon and runs up the bus, not even bothering to look out of the window until he’s at least two streets away.

  
  


//

  
  


Eric bursts into his dorm room with the singular thought of locking himself inside for at least a week purely out of embarrassment. What he doesn’t expect is for two other boys to be in the room as well.

“What the fuck, hyung!” Eric screams when he sees Jacob and Kevin lounging on his bed as if they live here. They don’t even seem surprised to be caught trespassing red-handed. In fact, if anyone in this room looks guilty - it’s Eric.

Without even looking in a mirror, Eric knows he’s blushing like crazy. Whether it’s because he can practically still feel Juyeon’s lips on his or the walk up the hill from the university bus stop was hot as hell, he won’t specify.

Kevin slams the laptop they were probably both watching shows on shut, squinting suspiciously at Eric.

“Hey, no profanity in this house! Is this how I raised you? God,” Jacob shakes his head in disbelief.

“You didn’t raise me,” Eric sticks his tongue out at the older boy. “And you’re in my room. My room, my rules, and in my room, all types of profanity is allowed and encouraged.”

While Jacob looks very horrified at Eric’s new house rules, Kevin looks a little too… suspicious.

“Cut the act, Eric Sohn,” he finally snaps. “We know you were with Juyeon.”

Eric stops pouring his juice midway as his brain short circuits. The words _Kevin, Jacob, Juyeon_ and _kiss_ ring in his head like a siren as he stutters, “H-How’d you- Who told... “

“ _Kim Sunwoo_ ,” Eric sighs belatedly while dramatically slamming his head against the wall. Even though Kevin and Jacob haven’t revealed the name of their little spy, Eric knows it has to be Sunwoo. No one else knows about the meeting except for Sunwoo and Juyeon. And Juyeon would never knowingly stir shit between Eric and his friends.

“Don’t get mad at him,” Jacob, the voice of reason, finally speaks up. “Sunwoo thought we already knew. Wasn’t that hard to get the remaining information out of him after we bumped into him in the cafeteria.”

“Eric honey, your new boyfriend would not hold out well under torture,” Kevin comments off-handedly.

“Sunwoo is not my boyfriend,” Eric replies robotically. He makes a mental plan to actually start plotting Sunwoo’s death. There’s no way he’ll ever forgive the other boy for subjecting Eric to incessant questioning from Jacob and Kevin, even though he probably didn’t do it on purpose.

“ _Right_ ,” Kevin grins sadistically. “Cause you’re seeing Juyeon again, right?”

Eric wonders how mad Jacob will be if he throws a cup in Kevin’s face. 

Fortunately, Jacob jumps in, eager to deescalate the situation before Eric can commit a murder, “We were just worried about you. I mean, you didn’t talk about Juyeon for months. And next thing we know, you’re talking to and visiting Juyeon - at his home, no less.”

Yeah, Eric knows it sounds bad.

Jacob walks over to rub Eric’s shoulder, obviously sensing something off with the other boy.

“Are you okay? Did anything bad happen with you two?” he treads carefully, always extra sensitive when it comes to mentioning Juyeon in front of Eric.

“You know you can talk to us about anything,” Kevin ever so kindly adds. “And we won’t judge you, _ever_.”

_Well_ , Eric thinks. There’s no harm to getting more inputs on whatever happened today. If left alone to his own devices, Eric thinks he might go crazy trying to figure things out on his own. 

“Where do I even start?”

  
  


//

  
  


“He kissed you?????”

The almost demonic screech that Kevin lets out echoes against the thin walls of the dorms. Eric doesn’t think he’ll be able to look his neighbours in the eye for a while. Jacob, is equally as shocked as Kevin, his big eyes conveying what his words cannot at the moment.

And well, the more accurate version of what happened was Eric kissing Juyeon first. But it doesn’t even matter now - because Juyeon kissed him back.

“And you just left him there? You haven’t called or texted him back?” Jacob looks at Eric quizzically, as if he cannot understand why Eric would kiss Juyeon and then run away. “But he still likes you, Eric. And I think after today, you probably still like him back too… right?”

Eric can feel his heart thumping against his chest when he says, “Yes.”

It’s the first time he’s admitted it aloud to other people.

“I knew it. You should call him. Knowing Juyeon, he’s probably freaking the fuck out right now,” Kevin squeals, and when Jacob glares at him, he sheepishly points out, “Eric’s house, Eric’s rules.”

If Eric is freaking out, Juyeon is definitely feeling the same, only Juyeon isn’t sandwiched between two of his friends. While Eric feels terrible about running off like a coward after kissing Juyeon out of the blue, he really doesn’t know if it would be a good idea to start over with Juyeon again right now.

After all, just as Juyeon had his entire heart, he was also the same person who broke it.

“Calm down, _you_ ,” Jacob chides Kevin, affectionately nonetheless. “This thing with Juyeon is moving way faster than you expected, isn’t it, Eric?”

He nods numbly. Just a few days ago, Eric was convinced he would never have contact with Juyeon again after paying the mandatory visit to his father.

“Take your time to figure this out,” Jacob advises. “You still have a lot of feelings to unpack. While Kevin and I are ecstatic about the progress you and Juyeon have made, it’s ultimately your decision what to do with it. And whatever you choose to do, we’ll support you every step of the way.”

Eric doesn’t say it out loud, but it’s exactly what he needs to hear right now.

“Is he going to break my heart again?” he wonders.

Immediately, Jacob holds Eric’s hands comfortingly, and Kevin lays his head on Eric’s shoulder. Knowing that he’ll have a big decision to make soon, Eric keens into the strange sort of comfort that being squished in between two of his best friends offer to him. He wonders if they’ll be able to hear his heart beating loudly in anticipation of what’s to come.

“Second chances don’t come easy. But if it’s Juyeon, I’m sure he’ll treasure it more than anyone else in this world.”

Eric doesn’t even argue. He knows Jacob is right.

  
  


//

  
  


If you asked Eric what his favourite memory of knowing Kim Sunwoo is, it’ll probably have to be them sneaking out of the dormitories on the last day of sports camp to go stargazing. Unfortunately, life isn’t like the movies and they didn’t see any stars that night because of quote unquote “air pollution”, according to Sunwoo.

Despite being forced to climb up a hill at 2am in the morning by some random stranger who wouldn’t stop pestering him since the start of the camp, Sunwoo always not-so-subtly hid a smile behind his grumbling and snarky passing remarks. 

Eric thinks Sunwoo would definitely help him hide a body if he asked.

“What’s up, princess? Slept late yesterday?”

Sunwoo, Sunwoo, Sunwoo. 

Eric thinks he would definitely fall in love with Kim Sunwoo, if he could.

What’s there not to love, really? The endearing smile plastered on his face when he looks at Eric that makes him feel warm inside? The ways he knows Eric’s quirks inside and out and knows exactly what to do without Eric even lifting a finger?

Or the way he’s 10 minutes early for their hangout session today, looking absolutely stunning in a smart blazer and matching pants?

“Not really,” Eric hums, taking his seat opposite Sunwoo.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Sunwoo makes a passing observation, then pushes the menu towards Eric’s end of the table. All the words on the menu look like a blur to Eric, and he’s not sure if he’s going to be able to stomach anything after this. 

Eric can only smile in response, “Sorry, that’s on me. I’ve actually been busy… _thinking_.”

“Thinking?” Sunwoo echoes with a playful expression on his face as he gears up to tease Eric. “Oh dear, that’s _never_ a good sign.”

If Eric had a choice, he wouldn’t ever want to lose Sunwoo. 

“Shut up,” Eric laughs out loud, tossing the paper towel placed on the table in Sunwoo’s direction. “No, seriously though. I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Well, more specifically, about us.”

Sunwoo doesn’t look too surprised when Eric reveals his true intentions behind their meetup, as if he was expecting it all along. Leaning forward, the red haired boy nods, silently encouraging Eric to carry on speaking. 

It’s not in Eric’s nature at all the beat around the bush. He’s so used to being straightforward in what he wants to say, and more often than not cares about telling the truth over taking care of the other person’s feelings first. But somehow, the words don’t come easy this time.

There’s really no way he can sweet talk his way through this.

“On the day I went to Juyeon hyung’s house, we talked about what happened 6 months ago.” Eric takes in a deep breath before adding, “And before I left, I kissed him.”

For the first time, the air between them is filled with silence. The music playing in the cafe helpfully supplies some sort of noise to fill it, but all Eric can hear is his heart thumping against his chest in fear of how Sunwoo will react.

Very calmly, as if talking about something as casual as the weather, Sunwoo asks, “Does this mean you still have feelings for him?”

“Yes,” Eric nods, embarrassed, but sure.

Sunwoo starts playing with the paper towels on the table, “Since when?”

“I don’t think I ever stopped,” Eric admits.

Suddenly putting down the paper towels like he’s made a decision, Sunwoo looks up to smile at Eric, “I should have known.”

Eric himself didn’t know about his feelings for Juyeon until recently either, but he cannot imagine how Sunwoo must be feeling right now. Before Eric can choose between apologising and trying to justify that _nothing_ happened after the kiss - because really, he hasn’t seen or talked to Juyeon since last week - Sunwoo speaks up.

“I told myself I’d be happy for you when it happened,” Sunwoo explains. “Didn’t think it’d be this hard.”

“Sunwoo, I’m-” Eric begins, but gets cut off again.

“Don’t apologise.” Once again, Eric wonders if Sunwoo has a sixth sense because it’s impossible for someone to know what Eric is going to say even before he says it. “It’s not your fault. The last thing I would want right now is for you to feel bad about finally figuring out where your heart lies.”

“ _But I strung you along_ ,” Eric sighs, burying his face into his palms out of guilt when he realises the weight of his actions.

“ _We_ strung each other along,” Sunwoo says sternly. “We were always dancing around each other but none of us dared to make it official. Maybe you were afraid that you were in love with the wrong person, and I was definitely afraid that you weren’t the right one for me. That’s not how a relationship is supposed to be. We were finding faults with each other at every turn without even realising it.”

Sunwoo is right. Under the guise of not being ready for a relationship, Eric and Sunwoo were picking out the flaws in their friendship, instead of trying their best to overcome it.

“I really, really liked you,” Eric can finally tell Sunwoo this, knowing there will be no more repercussions.

“Me too,” Sunwoo shares the same sentiments. “I really wanted you as something more than a friend - more than a _boyfriend_.”

And really, Eric’s feelings for Sunwoo goes beyond something as simple as platonic. When he was feeling lost, Sunwoo was the hand that pulled him up and gave him something in life to look forward to. He genuinely thinks that he will never find someone like Sunwoo again - not in this lifetime, and not for many more.

“Soulmate.” 

It feels so right on Eric’s lips. His heart skips one, maybe two, beats.

“ _Soulmate_?” The smile on Sunwoo’s face already tells Eric that he’s in for years of teasing. 

“Shut up, it’s cringy, I know. I’m never saying that out loud again” Eric scoffs. Somehow, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders and replaced with a warm, comforting feeling. “I’m starving, are we gonna order or not? It’s my treat, so don’t order something too expensive.”

Sunwoo happily obliges, always excited to extort some sort of free food from Eric, who according to him, is stingy as hell when it comes to treating his friends.

When they finally place their orders, Sunwoo says something that catches Eric off guard.

“You should talk to Juyeon. Don’t leave him hanging.”

Eric frowns, “I didn’t even say anything, how’d you even know?”

“How else? You’re my soulmate.”

  
  


//

  
  


When Jacob, Kevin and even _Sunwoo_ cannot convince Eric to pick up the courage to talk to Juyeon first, Eric should have known that karma would have him encounter the final boss one day.

It’s too late to retreat when Eric realises the exact reason why he hasn’t come to the student-run restaurant near his faculty in months. He winces as soon as he hears a booming voice call out to him in the shop, “ERIC SOHN, STOP WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!”

immediately, all the customers in the restaurant turn to look at Eric, wondering why such a handsome looking employee would be yelling at an innocent customer like himself. 

When Eric turns around to face Hyunjae, his face is beet red in embarrassment. With his hands on his hips in some kind of power stance, Hyunjae points to an empty table, gesturing for Eric to come over and sit down.

With his limited bullshitting skills, Eric scrambles for an excuse to get out of Hyunjae’s devil's claws, “Hyung, I just realised I’m late for class-”

“Not so fast, you little twerp,” Hyunjae snaps, pinching Eric by his ear and forcing him into his seat.

“Hyunjae hyung!” Eric yelps, then when it doesn’t work, threatens, “I’m going to tell your manager about this!”

Hyunjae just stares at him with a deadpan face.

_“I am the manager.”_

After Hyunjae finally manages to convince the patrons in the restaurant that he actually does know Eric and that they were actually “very close friends until months ago because he broke up with my best friend”, he turns to Eric, who now has a petulant pout on his lips.

Because Hyunjae is literally Eric if he were 3 years older, he gets to the point quickly.

“You are going to talk to Juyeon,” he says to Eric very seriously, making sure to enunciate every word in the sentence properly.

Assuming that Hyunjae has already heard all about what happened two weeks ago from Juyeon himself, Eric snaps, “You know, he kissed me back too! So I think we should hold equal responsibility on who’s going to talk to the other first.”

“Wait, _you kissed_?” Hyunjae can barely conceal his astonishment.

The table beside theirs turns to stare, and Eric is convinced he will never show his face in this restaurant after today. Meanwhile, Hyunjae is too shell-shocked by Eric’s revelation to even care, mumbling, “My God, Chanhee is going to _love_ this, he’s always complaining about how I don’t bring any sort of ‘tea’ to the friend group.”

While Eric’s appalled that his story is most likely going to be used as cheap gossip tonight, he has more pressing concerns.

“Have you talked to Juyeon hyung?” he asks hesitantly.

Hyunjae just scoffs and smiles at Eric like he is looking at some sort of kid he found at the playground, “He’s been moping. You know, I was wondering why he was feeling so down if nothing happened, but now knowing that you kissed him and he kissed you back and you’ve been avoiding him? _Yeah…_ the sudden alcohol fixation suddenly makes sense now.”

“ _Alcohol_?” Eric sounds out, frowning, “Juyeon hyung doesn’t drink. How much did he drink? Did he get drunk?”

Hyunjae tuts at Eric dismissively, “ _Questions, questions_ . You should just go over and see him for yourself. It’s pathetic, really. What time is it now? 11am? _Oh,_ just about time for Juyeon to wake up from his hangover and start on his first bottle of the day then.”

Eric can barely put the words _Juyeon_ and _alcohol_ together before standing up from his seat, ready to go and stop Juyeon from drinking his life away. Because _really-_ is he going to be that dramatic about Eric not talking to him?

“You should have stopped him, hyung,” Eric groans, blaming half of this on Hyunjae not being able to take care of his best friend and roommate. “You literally had one job after we broke up - take care of Juyeon hyung.”

“I tried,” Hyunjae sighs, annoyingly calm for someone who knows that Juyeon is drinking in broad daylight when he should be in class right now. “Won’t listen. Oh, who knows what’s going to happen to Juyeon now? I don’t think he’ll ever be the same after this.”

Concluding his performance by wiping a fake tear out of his eye, Hyunjae waves Eric away, “Now go to your drunken little prince and tell him how much you love him to save him from the depths of alcoholism.”

“I hate you so much, hyung,” Eric swears before sprinting out of the establishment, making a mental note to leave a really bad review on Yelp for one particular employee of theirs.

As he’s leaving, he can hear Hyunjae cackling behind him, “Nice to be on talking terms with you again, Eric-ah!”

  
  


//

  
  


Eric is drenched in sweat when he arrives outside Juyeon and Hyunjae’s shared dorm. He’s been here so many times, he already knows their passcode but realises it would be rude to show up unannounced. And if Juyeon is really drinking his life away like what Hyunjae had claimed earlier, he would definitely want to pretty himself up before Eric comes barging in.

Taking a deep breath to steady his breathing, Eric knocks on the door and prepares himself for the sight that is about to greet him. He hears the shuffling of feet, then the hurriedly unlocking of the door, but it still doesn’t prepare him for the way Juyeon looks when he comes face to face with Eric.

He doesn’t look the least bit disheveled, hungover or any of those things Hyunjae had claimed him to be.

In fact, Juyeon’s dressed in a nice, casual white shirt that hangs off his broad shoulders a little too perfectly, and his jeans hug his thighs just right at his thighs. His undercut hairstyle still leaves Eric breathless, but what really stuns Eric is the way Juyeon’s eyes meet his, and he’s instantly filled with both relief and excitement just by being in Juyeon’s presence again.

“Eric? What are you doing here?” Juyeon looks more confused than anything.

His completely clean image is a 180 from what Eric had expected, and he now belatedly realises that Hyunjae had lied to him just to get him to come over and talk to Juyeon. 

So now, he looks stupid standing outside Juyeon’s door, sweaty, and hands loaded with painkillers from the pharmacy, and some hangover soup he managed to get from the convenience store nearby which he was planning to heat up for Juyeon.

“I- Hyunjae lied and told me you were getting drunk every night because I was avoiding you,” Eric sighs, the realisation finally catching up to him now. 

“Me? Drunk?” Juyeon looks as confused as he is. “You know I don’t like alcohol.”

_That’s exactly what I said,_ Eric thinks. 

“Ok well, there was that one night I was actually feeling down and tried to drink it away. But I only drank a tiny sip of soju before giving the rest to Hyunjae,” Juyeon admits with a shy smile on his face. He tries to salvage his bad boy image, albeit a little too late, “It was really bitter!”

Eric just shakes his head in disbelief, but can’t help but smile at Juyeon’s antics. He might be the younger one here, his alcohol tolerance way surpasses Juyeon’s; which is admittedly, a little cute and something Eric has used to his advantage more than he’d like to admit.

“I hope you’ll still want hangover soup even without the hangover,” Eric says, lifting up the food in his hands. 

Juyeon’s eyes grow wide in surprise, not even afraid to hide it as he looks Eric up and down before asking, “You bought all this for me?”

“Well,” Eric shrugs. “Hyunjae hyung is a great liar. Is he still taking those acting classes? Because they are really paying off.”

It’s nice, to be able to talk about Juyeon and his friends (correction, _both_ their friends) so openly now. Eric thinks it’s a sign of them slowly picking up where they left off. Juyeon, too, hasn’t stopped smiling from ear to ear. Eric’s heart does a little somersault in his chest as he realises this is the first time he’s the reason Juyeon is smiling - for the first time in a really long while.

And it feels… _nice_.

“Want to come in?” Juyeon offers, opening his door wide open as an invitation. “I can tell you all about it.”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

  
  


//

  
  


It’s like clockwork, the way Eric and Juyeon move with each other in the same room. Eric knows exactly where the microwave is, and swiftly starts heating up the soup. Juyeon, on the other hand, takes out two bowls of instant rice Eric knows he keeps stashed under his bed and asks, “You’re staying for lunch, right?”

Eric nods, “If that’s okay with you.”

Juyeon doesn’t even blink when he replies, “You know you’re always welcome here, Youngjae-ya.”

Again, his heart does a stupid swirl in his chest while watching Juyeon set the table for two. No other words are spoken between them, but Eric doesn’t mind it one bit. The soup is ready in minutes, and the smell of food fills the room. Clasping his hands together in glee when Eric brings the main menu to the table, Juyeon grins, “It smells so good.”

Eric can’t help but roll his eyes, “It’s instant food. It’s _supposed_ to smell good.”

Anyone else would lose their appetite at Eric’s unstoppable sarcasm, but Juyeon can only mumble “oh yeah” in agreement. 

When Juyeon takes the first sip of soup, he finally starts addressing the elephant in the room, “Were you planning to avoid me forever? After kissing me?”

Eric barely manages to stop choking on his soup at the unexpected straightforward question from Juyeon before he squeezes out a meek “no?” in response.

Cocking his head to the side, Juyeon raises his eyebrows suspiciously, “Really? Kind of seemed that way to me. I thought maybe you felt that the kiss was a mistake and you regretted doing it at all.”

With the way Eric had reacted, he can see why Juyeon had sorely misunderstood his intentions.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Eric chews on his lower lip to try and explain himself. “It’s just cause… you’re you. I was afraid, so I ran away.”

“I’m me?” Juyeon repeats, not quite understanding. “What does that mean? You never had a problem talking to me about your feelings. If anything, I thought that I was the emotionally constipated one in the relationship.”

Listening to Juyeon talk about them as a couple so casually somehow makes Eric feel funny on the inside. 

“That’s not true,” Eric scoffs, still avoiding the question.

Juyeon picks it up quickly, not letting Eric off easily this time, “So? You once told a stranger to fuck off after he shouted insults at us holding hands from across the street. Why are you running away from me now?”

“Because I still like you, okay?”

There’s a chilling silence that hangs in the air after Eric’s sudden outburst. Juyeon can’t seem to close his mouth even though he just fed himself a spoonful of rice, and Eric has to focus on something else, anything else, other than Juyeon’s intense stare on him or he will literally implode.

“You still like… me?”

Eric decides he’s past the point of no return. Frustrated at how Juyeon is just not picking up on the hints he’s been dropping, he starts counting off on his fingers, “Why do you think I kissed Sunwoo in front of you at Kevin’s party? Or why I got so jealous of your imaginary junior when you came to the Captain’s pick? Do you really think I would skip class and go out of my way to come here with food and medicine just to take care of you because I thought you were drunk?”

When spoken out loud, Eric realises the number of stupid and petty things he’s done just because he was blind to his own feelings.

Juyeon doesn’t even try to hide how his jaw drops when Eric lists out the incidents one by one.

“Permission to defend myself,” Juyeon interrupts before Eric can list out more. “One, I thought you kissed Sunwoo because you were over me. Two, I didn’t know you were jealous. And three, that’s just the kind of person you are, Eric! You’re always so nice and kind and caring towards me, how am I supposed to know that it’s because you had feelings-”

“Hyung, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I only do these things for you,” Eric huffs. “And I only get jealous and petty when you’re involved. Especially after you got that undercut - _god_. Can you imagine how mad I was when you came looking that hot just to support someone else?”

“You think I look hot?”

Juyeon is exceptionally good at nitpicking what he wants to hear.

And in the heat of the moment, Eric has accidentally revealed a piece of information he’s vowed to keep to himself forever. “That’s not what I said,” Eric gulps, avoiding any form of eye contact with Juyeon.

“You like me, and you think I look hot,” Juyeon says out loud.

“Shut up, hyung,” Eric snaps, wondering if he should just leave before he starts digging a bigger hole for himself to lie in. “Don’t let it get to your head, anyone else would say it’s a nice haircut on you too.”

“Yeah, but I only care about what you think.”

And there it is. The moment Eric knows that for a long time, probably the rest of time, his heart will only truly belong to one particular Lee Juyeon.

Juyeon, who looks at Eric like he’s the only person that exists in his entire world. Juyeon, who stands up just to walk over and give Eric a big hug that makes all of Eric’s doubts disappear. Habitually, Eric rests his head on Juyeon’s shoulder, his safe space.

Rubbing circles on Eric’s back, the first thing Juyeon says is, “I am so sorry for hurting you back then, Youngjae-ah.”

Eric knows, without a doubt, that the apology comes from Juyeon’s heart.

“I’m sorry too, hyung,” Eric replies. “Please forgive me.”

Juyeon places the softest of kisses on Eric’s forehead, “Forgiven.”

His heart melts; into a gooey little mess that Eric doesn’t even know how to clean up. He’s missed this, the giddy feeling of being so vulnerable and genuine with someone he trusts with his entire heart. Knowing that they have both healed from the wounds they gave each other six months ago, he can finally start learning how to love Juyeon the right way again.

“You want to touch my hair? Can’t help but notice that you’ve been staring since earlier,” Juyeon teasingly offers.

Eric doesn’t even hide his curiosity and reaches out to touch the shaved ends of Juyeon’s head, marvelling at how prickly it is out loud. He starts bombarding Juyeon with questions he didn’t get to ask before, like who suggested this new hairstyle, how his dad reacted to it, how exactly he wanted Eric to react to it.

After the incessant questioning, Eric concludes that he will have to treat Changmin to a big meal one of these days for transforming Juyeon into the sexiest man on earth. 

Catching Eric’s wrist midair, Juyeon sighs, “Alright, enough about my hair! Everyone is going to think that you got back with me just because of my hair.”

For a moment, Juyeon catches himself there, “Wait. You are back together with me, _right?_ ”

Eric shrugs, “I don’t know. Let me ask that junior of yours what he thinks before getting back to you about this.”

“ _Brat_ ,” Juyeon mumbles, narrowing his eyes at Eric. “You aren’t going to let that one go, are you?”

No, Eric does not think he will forgive Juyeon for that lie for as long as he lives. And Juyeon himself knows that, from the way he doesn’t even try to convince Eric otherwise. Suddenly, Juyeon’s lips curl into a smirk as he noses his way into the crook of Eric’s neck, tickling him.

“Any chance I can make it up to you?” Juyeon offers suggestively.

Eric tries his best to remain calm in the face of danger, but it’s hard to think of anything else when Juyeon is literally pressing up against him, forcing an answer out of Eric’s mouth.

“I’ll think about it, hyung,” he honest to god _whimpers_ , and Juyeon giggles, knowing he’s won this invisible battle.

Still, Juyeon remains civil and leaves Eric with a kiss on his neck before going back to his side of the table, as if nothing had happened.

“I think we have a lot of catching up to do, Youngjae-ah,” Juyeon chuckles, placing some kimchi on Eric’s spoon.

Eric can barely contain his excitement.

“You have no idea.”

  
  


//

  
  


Juyeon and Eric never really talk about their relationship with their friends until one fateful Monday morning, when they’re invited to breakfast by their friends. According to Kevin, it’s supposed to be an “intervention” that immediately falls apart when Juyeon and Eric walk into the cafe hand in hand, with hearts in their eyes as they giggle about an inside joke none of their friends will understand.

“Am I on some sort of hidden camera prank show?” Kevin, obviously, is not the only one in their friend group that thinks he is seeing things.

“I see it too,” Hyunjae looks as if he’s just seen a ghost. 

Eric chirpily takes a seat beside Hyunjae and pulls Juyeon along to sit beside him.

“Wait, you two are back together?” Jacob, who is equally shocked, cannot take his eyes off Juyeon and Eric’s intertwined fingers. 

“Oh yeah, I never told you,” Eric belatedly realises. He looks pointedly at Juyeon, “Wait, I thought you would tell Hyunjae hyung.”

Juyeon just blinks at him in pure confusion, “I thought you were gonna tell Jacob and Kevin.”

Turning back to the confused faces, Eric can only sheepishly say, “ _Oops_.”

Then, he spots a face that stands out against Jacob, Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, and Hyunjae squeezed almost hilariously into one booth table. He frowns, then asks, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Beside him, Juyeon tenses up.

Sunwoo almost fits into their friend group too naturally. He sips on his strawberry smoothie innocently, almost oblivious to the chaos unfolding in front of him. When he finally realises that all the attention is on him, he shrugs, “Don’t ask me, I’m only here at request of your friends. I thought I was here to bully you into talking to Juyeon, but apparently, some of us didn’t get the memo.”

Granted, Sunwoo and Eric are strictly friends right now as he’s told Juyeon many times over, the last time he expects to see Sunwoo is at the same table with Juyeon. 

“Well, okay… Sunwoo, meet Juyeon. Juyeon hyung, this is Sunwoo.”

This is one of those times that Eric just cannot tell exactly what Juyeon is thinking about when he introduces the two of them, while Sunwoo just looks visibly terrified. Eric just wishes he could reach over and tell Sunwoo not to sweat because Juyeon is much more of a softie than he seems. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you formally,” Juyeon says, reaching out his arm, which Sunwoo very pathetically flinches at, but relaxes when he realises all Juyeon is doing is offering him a handshake.

“Well,” Kevin whistles. “Looks like we’ve all gathered for nothing. Juyeon and Eric are finally back together and all is good in the world again. Since we’re here, should we eat? I heard the waffles have great reviews.”

“Speak for yourself, I ditched work for this,” Hyunjae huffs angrily, already back up on his feet as he prepares to sprint back to the restaurant before anyone can realise that he’s gone. He still takes a moment to smile at Eric, “But it’s good to see you two together again.”

Changmin shakes his head in disappointment, “I’m going to take off as well. I’m not going to be able to stomach my food sitting between Juyeon and Eric and Jacob hyung and Kevin.”

Chanhee echoes in agreement as he promptly picks up his jacket and storms off when it dawns on him that he’s been summoned for absolutely nothing. Sunwoo, too, looks like he is going to leave but gestures for Eric to meet him outside.

“Your jealousy is showing, Juyeonie,” Kevin obnoxiously points out as Eric moves to follow but is caught by Juyeon grabbing his arm.

“Be back soon, hyung,” he assures Juyeon. It’s absolutely adorable, so he leans down to give Juyeon a quick peck on his cheek to appease him. It works wonders, because Juyeon is all smiles again.

As soon as Eric steps out, he’s cornered by Sunwoo, who has an unreadable expression on his face.

“There’s no easy way to ask you this, Eric,” Sunwoo says very seriously.

Instantly, fear strikes Eric in his chest as he starts to imagine what could have gotten Sunwoo looking so troubled. While shifting his weight from side to side, Sunwoo fumbles with his starting words and finally blurts out, “What’s Chanhee’s deal?”  
  


“Chanhee hyung?”

_What could Sunwoo possibly want with Eric’s friend?_

“Yeah,” Sunwoo nods. “He’s kinda pretty, but I have a feeling he wants to kill me. Is that normal? I kind of want to wax poems about him but at the same time, I feel like he’d poison me in my sleep. What’s his deal?”

Listening to Sunwoo ramble about Chanhee like he is some extraterrestrial being is extremely unexpected, and he can’t help but grin at the dilemma presented to Sunwoo. It’s obvious to him now that Sunwoo has taken a liking to the little diva of their friend group. 

He crosses his arms, “You want some advice about Chanhee hyung?”

Sunwoo’s ears perk up immediately.

Eric is going to use this as blackmail material for a very, very long time. 

“Get a part-time job,” Eric whispers. “He’s extremely high maintenance.”

Groaning in response, Sunwoo can only curse under his breath but pulls out his phone to immediately start looking for part-time jobs nearby. Eric doesn’t think he’s ever seen Sunwoo _this_ whipped for anyone. It’s hilarious, but also heartwarming.

“What are you smiling about, shithead?” Sunwoo’s words, quite ironically, carry no malice at all. “It’s all your fault I’m in this position. It’d be much easier if I was chasing after you instead, huh?”

Eric can’t help but agree.

Turning back, he catches Juyeon looking out for him, and waves to assure his boyfriend that he’s doing okay. 

“My sincere apologies,” Eric attempts to joke, but Sunwoo doesn’t even laugh, eyes too focused on his phone. “I’m wishing you all the best. Hope it turns out well with Chanhee hyung, really.”

Sunwoo just rolls his eyes, but smiles a little at Eric’s encouraging words, “Get out of my face.”

Eric gives Sunwoo a quick hug, tells him “see you later”, and doesn’t waste another second before diving back into Juyeon’s arms.

  
  


//

  
  


It’s dark when Eric wakes from his afternoon nap, but he cannot bring himself to sit up even when he hears Juyeon taking off his shoes and walking towards his bed. Almost a second later, the bed dips and a strong arm wraps itself across Eric’s waist.

“Are you feeling okay?” Juyeon’s voice is laced with concern as he tries to coax Eric out of his bed.

“Fine,” he manages to mumble through his sleepy haze. “I had a long afternoon.”

“Good thing I brought you your favourite pizza,” Juyeon says.

Finally putting a name to the marvelous smell that filled his room, Eric finally has the energy to sit up and face Juyeon. His boyfriend giggles, then affectionately tries to tame Eric’s messy bed hair. They haven’t seen each other in two days, with Juyeon busy with his exams and Eric with baseball training.

They don’t have concrete plans for their date tonight, but really, just having Juyeon to himself for one night is enough to make Eric happy. It’s the little things, he realises, that keeps their relationship alive.

“Are you excited? For Saturday?”

Finally, after multiple tries and nights of talking to his parents, Eric has finally convinced his family to meet Juyeon for dinner again. While he’s feeling anxious and frightened of what could come from this meal, his worries are eased by how bravely Juyeon is being about this meeting.

In fact, Juyeon had excitedly picked out the restaurant and made the reservations weeks in advance. 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen your family in a while. I think it’s going to be great,” Juyeon’s eyes practically sparkle when he nods. Eric doesn’t know how he’s managed to land someone like Juyeon; who would be so willing to try and talk through the differences he and Eric’s family share. 

It’s a miracle, Eric thinks, for Juyeon to still be in his life.

Of course, he doesn’t say it out loud. It’s embarrassing.

“Whatever happens, remember, I’m on your side,” Eric reiterates.

Chuckling, Juyeon plays with Eric’s hair, “I know. I’m so lucky to have you.”

Eric’s no fortune teller, so he cannot predict how the meeting with his parents will go. But this is a huge step forward from where they were previously. And he believes that with time and the combined effort of him and Juyeon, his family will eventually come around and realise that Juyeon is someone that deserves all the love in the entire world.

When he kisses Juyeon, he makes sure to tell the other boy all of this through his actions. It’s electric, the way Juyeon holds him like he’s holding the most precious thing in the world. His mind is filled only with Juyeon, and how he can love him better from now on.

Juyeon kisses Eric back with the same amount of hunger and love, and Eric has a feeling that they’re going to have cold pizza for dinner tonight.

As if he’s telepathic, Juyeon breaks the kiss and smiles against Eric’s lips.

“Are you hungry, baby?” he asks ever so kindly, but his hands betray him as they slip under Eric’s shirt.

“I think dinner can wait,” Eric replies, and it’s all Juyeon needs to start kissing him again.

That’s the thing about being with Juyeon. Not everything is going to go according to plan.

But Eric doesn’t think he minds. Not even one bit.

**Author's Note:**

> if you've made it to the end, i want to thank you for reading this 20k long monster fic that i started writing one and a half months ago.
> 
> between starting uni and covid, it wasn't easy finishing this piece but i still hope that you enjoyed it! if you have, please leave me a comment or even tell me a part that you liked (ironically, i loved writing friendship banters more than anything else in this story). 
> 
> please continue to stay safe, wherever you are<3


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